I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
