Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My bed smells like the plague
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
