i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
