none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
