He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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