how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
