I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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