I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sext me about skeletons
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
