Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
