We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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