it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
