covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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