he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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