Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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