i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
