mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
