I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
