jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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