You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
