so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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