I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Panties = found
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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