The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
