Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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