Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
