I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
