this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
