So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
