FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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