Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
