I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
