I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
