then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I got inside last night via doggy door
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize