The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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