Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
