just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
