I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
