This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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