my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
