i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
