oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize