Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
