I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
