Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
