The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
