there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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