He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
