genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize
