Porn is love you can see.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
