About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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