it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
